Planet of the Grapes

Continuing from the previous segment, Bill Clinton cannot understand Heidi Fleiss’ new platonic prostitution ring, and Gonzo calls to lament how he liked things better in the old days. Gonzo’s new campaign is destroying horoscopes, prompting animosity with a mysterious caller named Krishna II.

54th Street & 7th Avenue

Eateries like Cafe Metro are a dime a dozen in the city. The food is “pretty good,” and the place is well lit and colorful. Perhaps it is reminiscent of your single uncle’s apartment. The bathroom of Cafe Metro, unlike the dining area, is not so common. Located in an additional downstairs eating section, it is a very small “oner” with dark gray, brick style tiling. Theses bricks possess a natural rock look and texture to them, perhaps to provide a brief respite from the man made caverns of the New York skyscrapers. Upon further scrutiny, one may find that the toilet is slightly askew, but this does not impede its function (we like to think that about ourselves, thank you). The sink is a marvel: a white porcelain vanity trough built into a stand-alone wooden counter. Pegasus must have drank out of something like this. The faucet comes out of the wall, not visibly connected to the sink at all. Some customers wrongfully exploited such a sink and left water all over the counter.

The thought and design behind this restroom goes above and beyond the call, but there is still a problem with space. The room is very small to begin with, and a garbage can juts out from under the sink. The can is too large to fit inside properly and just gets in the way of things, like the drunk dock worker who somehow got into your last orgy. As for the soap dispenser, it helps if you work out; the mechanism needs a little firm loving. If this is the only blemish, then Cafe Metro is the equivalent of a pink topaz in the rough.

Rating: 7

High profile madame from the 1990s, Heidi Fleiss, calls to tout her new business venture, including employees Crystal and Rod Steelington. Bill Clinton, still on the phone from the previous segment, announces his newest plans about removing salt from the oceans.

Carbon dioxide sees you too.

The first caller of 2010 is POTG Radio perennial, Prince. He calls to talk about the latest bashes in his “Dancedom of Dakota,” but soon, the hosts hear from the mysterious other two “Princes.” This exclusive clip reveals the real workings of how Prince maintains his prolific output and energetic live shows, as well as how the uncouth Blizzard Man relates to all of this. Longtime caller Bill Clinton also weighs in.