Planet of the Grapes

50th Street and 5th Avenue

Why not give the chains a chance? We did, and we found they’re called chains for a reason. Banana Republic is a respectable enough outfit, but its restrooms are still bush league. After all, everyone knows it’s just a suped-up Gap. When we visited one restroom it downright stunk, olfactorily speaking. By the looks of the offerings at the nearby Rockelller Center Concourse food court, this restroom probably loses that battle daily. The black and white-checkered floor gives the disorienting illusion that it is moving towards and away from you when you stare at it, an inevitability since nothing else here competes for your eye. In fact, it looks as if several harlequins had been hunted and their unitards stretched out on the ground as some kind of perverse flooring. Provided that this is a “flagship” location for ” B.R.” (we weren’t aware this was a fleet, but then again, retail chains love to take themselves too seriously), we figured that it would house an exemplary facility. It is, however, perfectly functional as a quick-fix, and provides a good example of a mid-range restroom. The stainless steel imported from Ukrainian materials, used for the faucets, impressed us, and the soap had a pleasant viscosity.

Rating 5.5