14th Street between 5th and 6th Aves.

From the coast-to-coast chain store that brought you celebrity endorsements from John Mayer, Melissa Etheridge, and the guitarist whose name you can’t remember from that band whose name you also can’t remember, Guitar Center was built on 14th Street perhaps in an attempt to appeal to the hipsters and street artists that have made Union Square their home. Its thoroughly corporate flavoring, however, likely sets it up for failure in that regard. Perhaps, like us, the Union Square loafers are hip to the fact that Guitar Center is in a very convenient location to serve as a public toilet

The bathroom is basic as can be, and soap was sparse when we visited. The walls and floor are gray, with those small square floor tiles we complain about all too much. It’s the equivalent of that guy who keeps writing songs with the first four guitar chords (all major) that he ever learned. The only color here is the solid blue stall door. Our inside sources revealed that the Guitar Center salesmen are also responsible for cleaning the bathroom after the store closes–even though they only take home commission when all is said and done–which basically amounts to slavery. Maybe Prince was right for complaining how hard it is to be a musician, or salesman, or whatever. One cannot be blamed if selling a five thousand dollar guitar doesn’t quite compete with the thrill of mopping the bathroom floor, but the upkeep of the facilities was certainly lacking on our visit. So, though we side with the salesmen here, we must say that someone is not doing their job. We also found pages from the Village Voice scattered across the floor. Most of them were job ads, probably left by the employees. Among the circled jobs were Assistant Janitor and Human Footstool. Reach for the stars, boys.

Rating: 4.5

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