81st Street & Broadway

The age-old question of quality vs. quantity seems to answer itself when you gaze upon any well-known food establishment. A French bistro with a high Zagat’s rating will clearly be concerned with the quality of their presentation. In the case of McDonald’s, who pioneered the “drive-thru within a drive-thru” and added to Webster’s dictionary the term “Super Size,” quality is put on the back burner. While they boast to have sold over 100 trillion trillion hamburgers, anybody who stops to ponder what is in a McDonald’s hamburger gets a look of intestinal discomfort.

Before the economic crunch, when Wall Street denizens did most of their business on a hooker’s back rather than on their own knees, McDonald’s opened a new restaurant every four hours. This much was obvious given their cookie-cutter design and the complete lack of attention spent on the bathrooms. Here it is no different. The gray floor and white wall tiles did little to personify the vibrant logo and imagery of the establishment (though we know that Ronald McD has a lot of skeletons in his closet…and perhaps bathroom). A thin layer of grime covered everything from the ceiling to the toilet, and the full garbage can spilled litter all over the floor. Atop the can was a perilously placed baby diaper, perhaps a baby’s version of “tagging.” The toilet paper dispenser was despicably empty, a cheap shot at people who take too many napkins. Most functionality was intact: the toilet flushed, the soap dispensers spewed new foam soap, and the sink provided hot water…though most would rather take the foam soap and leave than touch the faucet handles. If you dared, a blow dryer would take care of those wet hands for you. And if you work here, a loose tile probably hides a compartment of acne cream to battle your life manning the deep fryer.

Rating: 4

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