Planet of the Grapes

Parts Unknown

The main bathroom in Yahdderman’ home was hilighted recently, and now two other members of this organization must turn the looking glass on themselves, exposing all the glory and all the sorrow that comes when one stands face to face with his own reality. They live together and call their apartment “Pharaoh’s Landing,” though 1) they are not Egyptian divinity/royalty and 2) their apartment is not a wharf. A case in point for breast-feeding, as neither of this apartment’s inhabitants suckled on the maternal teet.

The bathroom’s centerpiece undoubtedly is the shower curtain. It’s deep red with writhing gold rings is at once regal and ridiculous. The curtain is the true hero of the day, as the rest of the bathroom is what you expect from a typical apartment: cramped, walls with heavy paint caked on sloppily, a toilet designed only for function, and a tiny sink. A hand towel hangs beside the sink as if it had been there when Moses lived here. Despite the building’s limitations on the bathroom’s construction and spotlessness (see general grime between tiles buried under decades of previous owners’ neglect) the facilities are kept clean and stocked so you will never go without the basic amenities.

Rating: 5.5