35th Street & 5th Avenue

Time makes fools of us all. With so many bathrooms reviewed, it is inevitable that one of our readers finds their way to a reviewed facility only to realize it has been completely renovated (or perhaps desecrated). Have our ratings struck fear in the hearts of the store or building managers, or is it simply the natural growth of a company? Like people, establishments go through changes. Perhaps it is a conspiracy to make us look bad. Thanks, but we can make ourselves look bad without any help. For this review, we decided to do a before and after comparison as a special feature.

Like a teenage girl with too many shoes and “nothing to wear”, this Starbucks branch has gone through the awkward stages of puberty when one seeks to define themselves. When we first met, this bathroom boasted an artistic spirit with its ribbed wooden mirror frame and its set of generally Mediterranean iconography watercolors. We noted a spot where one had gone missing. Perhaps the muse threw it at a belligerent customer, just as Michelangelo hurled his utensils at his own commissioners. But in a short while, this bathroom succumbed to peer pressure and conformed to the sterile mask of the chain’s restrooms. The frame was gone, as were the paintings. Instead, you are given a dirty bottle of pink antimicrobial soap. Apparently, if the soap kills bacteria, then there’s no problem that the bottle itself is crawling with them.  The warm, pinkish flourescent light has been replaced with one that gives off that familiar greenish hue — the one that makes you look horrible no matter how much makeup you have on. One could almost hear the faint sobbing as this restroom slowly dies inside. And if you’re inside it, you’d best get out before the darkness consumes you too.

Rating: 4.5

Bookmark and Share