Planet of the Grapes

The American Museum of Natural History (cue Intelligent Design joke) knows how to wow. It greets its front-door visitors with a gigantic Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton (or as creationists call it, “Untitled Bone Sculpture”). The visitors then embark on a journey of plexi-glass and fossils, taking them back through time and space. It’s one of the few places where you can get your picture taken next to a woolly mammoth, there and at Sean Connery’s house.

The main entrance’s closest bathroom, however, will send needy visitors running away screaming. The first step inside takes you down a long narrow hall and into a room with an ill-conceived number of walls. The large mirror is not in front of the sink, but off to the right. Any new users will easily get in the way of those already grooming, perhaps sparking some competition. Maybe the bathrooms are being video monitored and used as research for a future exhibit on “Early 21st Century Restroom Etiquette in Humans” (we’d better be invited to the fundraiser party). The walls sport an off-white, slightly greyish-blue hue found only in abandoned beach houses. One of the sinks were broken on our visit, and the towel dispenser was empty. An upstairs bathroom provides a better option with clean white tiles, brushed steel stall, and a handicap “oner” with its own sink and soap dispenser; it was overall better stocked and in better shape. Logic stands to argue that the better bathroom should be closer to the entrance and not something a customer should have to work for. Perhaps natural selection will fix this problem in time.

Rating: 5.5