Planet of the Grapes

10 Columbus Circle, intersection of Broadway, 8th Ave. Central Park West and Central Park South

When the shopping complex at Columbus Circle, aptly titled “The Shops At Columbus Circle,” premiered in 2003, it was greeted with much hullabaloo and for a certain type (the type with no imagination), became the place to be. Granted, there are trendy, pseudo nouveau riche “guaranteed action if you take a date there” restaurants on the upper levels of the mall… again, for a certain type. And while the shopping center’s founders resist the use of the word “mall,” the editorial staff feels that, well, you can’t turn a whore into a housewife.

At the end of the day it’s still just a shrine to banal consumerism, with no aspirations towards the pursuit of truth, beauty, and culture, and thus, its restrooms are exceptionally uninspired. They are unfortunately hidden down a long maintenance corridor on the second floor. While we are aware that due to the nature of restrooms they shouldn’t be prominently placed in the middle of everything, they also shouldn’t feel as if the architects were ashamed of them. Perhaps the right design would make up for the restrooms’ placement within the building. However, dull lighting reminiscent of Freud’s subconscious while he toiled over the subject of marriage crisis, dime-a-dozen grey tiling, and hand-motion sensing paper towel dispensers that are almost surely playing games with you do not add merit. Where it does make some amends is in basic functionality: there’s room, and it’s clean.

Rating: 5.5