Planet of the Grapes

14th Street, Union Square

While it may be seen as trendy, if natural foods chains like this keep popping up and help the American diet move beyond soda and potato chips for dinner, then we’d say that’s a good thing. Strategically located at the crossroads that is Union Square, this Whole Foods is a huge destination for a cross-section of New Yorkers (who can afford it), and thus it receives steady traffic to its restrooms. Especially for you ladies, long lines will often be contended with here. Given that, it stands to reason that the designers should have thought ahead more; these bathrooms are simply too small for such a location, especially considering they are next to a busy cafe on the second floor. Someone should have told the restroom designers that this isn’t Key Food.

The colors inside the restroom are largely green and blue. We found this color combination earlier in our travels to the Toy R’ Us bathroom in Times Square and can’t help but think that it denotes a whimsical and somewhat child-like feeling, not that that’s a bad thing (if you had a good childhood, or at least a nanny who wore a lot of green and blue). In fact, it gives a certain vibrancy and character that was well-appreciated, as we all know that the majority of public bathrooms are drab and dreary. And it doesn’t stop there. The sinks’ materials are a stone with touches of green in it (we guess green is apropos with the Whole Foods mission), it’s a modern update on the stone water fountains found in the city playgrounds of our youth. The stall doors are dark blue, and again, in the context of the room’s colors makes you feel like you’re getting into some kind of compartment on top of a jungle gym. Inevitably, graffiti graces its inside walls. The soap dispenser has its own twist as well; it’s exposed so you see a little contraption squeezing the pink soap as it’s delivered to your palms. If you listen very closely, every time you squeeze it, it tells you something tragic about its youth. In the men’s room the short, small urinal makes you feel like you need to get out quickly. The restrooms have some pleasing visual touches but the size and crowding deter the visitor from taking them in. It’s like showing up very late to a very heavily-chaperoned school dance; you feel like you should be enjoying it but you just can’t get comfortable.

Rating: 4.5