Planet of the Grapes

POTG Radio’s favorite ex-president besides Clinton, Teddy Roosevelt, calls to demonstrate his new job: translating for the musician Beck, who has written so many songs with nonsensical lyrics that he can no longer communicate logically.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

In the previous section, Beck had expressed, via his interpreter Teddy Roosevelt, that he wanted to speak with Grimace’s cousin, Plum Plumber, a large green plum-man who lives and works on Long Island, NY. Once he’s on, they explore how “spending time” in the same cave has created a telepathic link between them. Then the “First Man” calls, followed by a 16 year old girl who proves that even the first man is just a dirty old man.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Who is an ancient, tortured Arabian steed that brings people back from the dead? The Anti-Horse, and he thinks he’s dying because he can’t remember bringing Teddy Roosevelt (who’s still on the phone from earlier) back from the dead. The Anti-Horse is doubly worried because his heart has been inside of Slifrigerator, health guru Slim Goodbody’s old refrigerator, for a very long time. The two had met in ancient Persia and have an old rivalry. Slifrigerator eventually reveals his new desert location, prompting a call from Birdman, his current neighbor.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Rival radio host Birdman is granted amnesty and makes a live studio appearance for the first time. POTG Radio is honoring a promise that he could be the “Object of Desire” on Grape Love, their dating game. The three contestants are Oxford (Deez Nuts’ announcer), The Afterbirth Fairy, and Bill Cosby.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

The second half of Birdman’s Grape Love. Find out what Bill Cosby has a tattoo of and what everyone thinks of Internet sex videos.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Birdman’s prior appearance sparks a call from Birdbunch- conjoined septuplet birds. Then, to keep with the theme, Big Bird calls to complain how they take jobs away from him performing on the cruise line circuit.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

POTG radio speaks to Queen Mab, a fairy who claims to control dreams. King Louis V of France then calls to reveal details about their relationship and the secret of the old French monarchy. Then, Queen Mab’s advances on Willow, POTG Radio’s producer, are brought to light.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Piglet from the Winnie the Pooh show calls to discuss how he recently shot the series Survivor: Vietnam. Cobra Commander and Destro, villains from the G.I Joe world, were also on the show and call.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

After speaking with Santiago McPherson, a lawyer for the McDonaldland Fry Kids, and Pontius Pilate, a judge, two Fry Kids are called. After Santiago guesses as to where Fry Kids come from, SpongeBob Squarepants (or as he says, “Squibblesquat”) and his pants call. Sponge Bob works for Crab Man’s underwater fast food joint and reveals he has used underwater potatoes as fries, who become Fry Kids if you let them grow. He has sold these grown “Fry Kids” to Ronald McDonald for labor.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

Bob Beasley from the Bank of New York calls POTG Radio to complain that his employees are distracted by the show and asks that it be taken off the air. When he mentions Bill Clinton’s old negative money idea and how he has invested in a stock market based on it, Clinton’s father, Bill Elvis Johnson For Short, calls. Beasley also reveals his true identity.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.