Planet of the Grapes

Bono is calling his new album “Piglet’s Uterus”. We don’t know what that means, but we decided to get to the bottom of it. But first the Anti Horse has to call and remind Saint Walrus Man of his place. When we finally speak to Piglet, he is angry that everybody’s talking about his uterus, whatever that may mean.

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Doctor Thornberry, of the first Spiderman movie, is the first caller to try and promote his “celebrity.” This leads to Steven Tylerico, a Steve Tyler impersonator, to call and explain what he does to beautiful women on dates.

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Two old callers, both of whom have fledgling bands, call to add to the fray. They are Gib from the band GIB (Gardening in Biodomes) and Joe from the band GIP’D (Gardening In Possible Biodomes). Besides their metal bands, they are both trying to help Ernie of Sesame St. escape from the secret biodome he is imprisoned in.

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Brad Pitt is on from a previous segment and welcomes the crass Gonzo, who lets his bad attitude out on POTG Radio. His wordplay is combined with that of Steven Tyler and Steven Tylerico (an impersonator), with madness resulting.

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Host Deaze Beans begins by speaking of a pool he made up with an 8th grade acquaintance, only to find out it is now real. Each cabana is equipped with special amenities, and humans are only allowed to join if they have an IQ of exactly 137. Calls are taken from Yolenz, who is a fake Ken doll, and Scott Baio’s Drugs.

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The discussion of the fantastical “pool” continues with Scott Baio’s Drugs, Yolenz the fake Ken doll, and the very polite Monty Python Foot, who is a cook at the pool.

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“The Pool” keeps dominating discussion as King Hudson joins the show; apparently the whole pool is a way for a mysterious woman to court him. Bill Gates and Steve Jobs also join the fray and continue their technological feud.

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“The Real Aunt Jemima” is in rare form, looking for a date with any and all of the hosts.

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The segment begins with a call from Snail/Wildebeest, quickly followed by William(Hurt)/Amoeba. It doesn’t take long to find out that “Roland,” Ronald’s half-brother, is behind the DNA experiments, as well as a bagel fast-food chain. This prompts Ronald himself to call, and then Grimace’s brother, Gimnael, who initially thinks he is Bob Dylan because he is coming off of an LSD trip. Gimnael’s right-hand man in his motorcycle gang, Piglet, then joins.

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NYC’s own East River calls, followed by the thorn in his side, the Harlem River. Then old radio competitor Newton Folds calls, who has given up his show and is now running a service that alerts people as to when they are being talked about on POTG Radio. The trans-gender Whale Man calls looking for a date, and gets a suitor.

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