Planet of the Grapes

Birdman’s estranged son, Birdbest (who, unlike his father, is a friend to POTG Radio), calls looking not for a date, but a mate. This prompts several obvious candidates to call: Richard Simmons’ Skeleton, Edward Scissorhands, and Skeeter’s Back.

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This segment begins with a mistaken caller who believes he has reached a consumer complaint line. This leads to the revelation that there are adult versions of the pictures from the popular 80s toy Lite Brite. One of the featured characters from such pictures, Responsible Yet Promiscuous Buffalo Man, calls, followed by Yams, the fertility beast.

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Gonzo calls to help his friend, R.Y.P Buffalo Man, sort things out with Yams the fertility beast and discuss how they like to pick up women and party hard. Dr. Time calls to try and exploit R.Y.P. Buffalo Man’s “superpower.”

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Gonzo and R.Y.P. Buffalo Man stay on from the previous segment to welcome Mickey Andy Charley, the boy who used to be the model on boxes of H-O Farina (also known as Cream of Wheat). The “New Quaker Oats Man” calls to try and mentor the ex-farina boy and stop Gonzo and R.Y.P. Buffalo Man from trying to corrupt him.

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The show kicks off with a call from a tragic woman named Destiny, who is simultaneously a stripper and, you guessed it, the concept of Destiny. Then, of course, Pakistan calls, and later Respect, who claims to be the child of Pakistan and Destiny.

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The giant Indian robot known as Gupta Kronog calls and is quickly followed by rival Godzilla, who on a previous episode befriended the Burger King, who now rides on Godzilla’s back. This prompts Swedish Mecha-Godzila to call as well, the robotic Godzilla who has Ronald inside of him in his control chamber.

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POTG Radio follows up with the Mario Bros. from the last episode’s conversation, when it became clear that their lives were falling apart. The “Grime Reaper” and his sidekick, a punk rocker called Immature call to discuss how they are forcing Luigi to be the celebrity partner at a new bar they are opening in Vegas. Bowser of the Mario Bros games calls to try and save Luigi.

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Wherever Gimnael is, his right hand-man in his motorcycle gang, Piglet, is not too far away. They are exiled in Canada since Piglet is on the run from the law. Gimnael is afraid that the previous segment’s discussion of American-Canadian hostilities will incite violence between his gang and their sworn enemies, the harlequins who live in the Canadian plains. Geraldo calls to try to be Piglet’s lawyer, and General Gyro calls to make Piglet and Gimael an offer to join his army.

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General Gyro stays on the phone to welcome video game stars Mario and Luigi, still in Vegas after Luigi’s legal troubles there. The Brothers’ old cohort, Toad, now rich from Saudi oil, calls to offer them jobs in his new casino, and the transgender Louis Louise calls to offer his/her services for giving feedback on Mario’s proposed return to the stage-as a stripper.

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Continuing the discussion with the Mario Brothers, Kato Kaelin, O.J. Simpson’s infamous former house sitter, calls. He reveals that the Mario Brothers in fact went to Beverly Hills high school after moving from NY to LA in their teens as they were attempting to break into the entertainment industry. Luigi and Kaelin had a rap group for about five minutes while in high school. Ex-video game star Toad is still on the phone, trying to get this motley crew to work for him.

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