Planet of the Grapes

Teriyaki Boy, owner of a chain of NYC Japanese fast food restaurants, is called in response to one of the POTG Radio hosts having been sick from the food recently. Apparently, Teriyaki Boy knows New York’s own East River, who tries to be civil at first but can’t resist being filthy and controversial. Teriyaki Boy also apparently dated Paris Hilton, who calls.

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Adding to the fray with the East River and Teriyaki Boy, TV icons Arnold and Webster call to debate Teriyaki Boy’s claim that he is immortal. They believe only they are immortal. The US Coast Guard is called in, and plans hatch to bring some of the East River’s water to Egypt, now run by Elton John.

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Jezlude, lead singer of extreme band, GWAR, calls to offer his services to write a POTG Radio jingle and complain about how two of his rivals from old battle of the bands at state fairs were recently on the show. This prompts said rivals, Gib from the band Gardening in Biodomes and Joe from Gardening in Possible Biodomes, to call and have it out.

Gimnael, motorcycle-riding, peyote-loving brother of Grimace, shows up in the studio unannounced. He tells stories of Mexican brothels and his time with the Leaf People of Panama.

You will also hear from wrestler Pablo Mozart, who wins matches by painting himself pinning his opponent, the real Mozart, the real Picasso, and wrestler Starman.

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Jezlude, lead singer of extreme band, GWAR, calls to offer his services to write a POTG Radio jingle and complain about how two of his rivals from old battle of the bands at state fairs were recently on the show. This prompts said rivals, Gib from the band Gardening in Biodomes and Joe from Gardening in Possible Biodomes, to call and have it out.

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Gimnael, motorcycle-riding, peyote-loving brother of Grimace, shows up in the studio unannounced. He tells stories of Mexican brothels and his time with the Leaf People of Panama.

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(Someone claiming to be) Tiffany Amber Thiessen calls with a peculiar problem: she cannot see herself. A club DJ calls to offer his aid, revealing in the process his more interesting assistant, a man known as Earthquake, who has been reincarnated many times since Mohammed founded Islam. Gandhi calls. Apparently he has a history with Earthquake.

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Bill Cosby wants a eulogy while he is still alive, and he’s courting master eulogist Birdbest to do it. He’s not winning favor with Birdbest though, since Cosby has re-wired Birdbests’s TiVo to always play the Cosby Show and has an army of Demi Moore clones re-wiring Birdbest’s house. Bill Clinton is called because Cosby is jealous of POTG Radio’s “other Bill.”

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With the phone lines clear of all except Bill Clinton, Birdbest’s deadbeat father and resident of Egypt, Birdman, calls to pick the ex-president’s brain about womanizing. He can’t seem to get Cleopatra’s Ghost in bed. In the conversation, Birdman reveals that he now shares his apartment (inside the great Sphinx), with a certain refrigerator who has been holding the Anti-Horse’s heart hostage. The Anti-Horse calls to finally settle the score.

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(Someone claiming to be) Tiffany Amber Thiessen calls with a peculiar problem: she cannot see herself. A club DJ calls to offer his aid, revealing in the process his more interesting assistant, a man known as Earthquake who has been reincarnated many times since Mohammed founded Islam. Gandhi calls. Apparently he has a history with Earthquake.

Bill Cosby wants a eulogy while he is still alive, and he’s courting master eulogist Birdbest to do it. He’s not winning favor with Birdbest though, since Cosby has re-wired Birdbests’s TiVo to always play the Cosby Show and has an army of Demi Moore clones re-wiring Birdbest’s house. Bill Clinton is called because Cosby is jealous of POTG Radio’s “other Bill.”

With the phone lines clear of all except Bill Clinton, Birdbest’s deadbeat father and resident of Egypt, Birdman, calls to pick the ex-president’s brain about womanizing. He can’t seem to get Cleopatra’s Ghost in bed. In the conversation, Birdman reveals that he now shares his apartment (inside the great Sphinx), with a certain refrigerator who has been holding the Anti-Horse’s heart hostage. The Anti-Horse calls to finally settle the score.

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POTG Radio hears from Mole Man, who is running for “Ruler of United Scandinavia,” a contest with strange rules. He announces he is dating CJ, the mother of his opponent, JC Superstar. In 2006, CJ “fell on” the British crown jewels while attempting to steal them, which set in motion a process that turned her into royalty. Gonzo also calls to have it out with Mole Man.

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