Planet of the Grapes

Zeus is called to assess Pecorino Patience’s power as a pagan god. Then Kid Gicarus, who interned for Pecorino Patience, calls. Pecorino Patience is scared that if Quailburglar tries to mate with him, there will be catastrophic consequences. Earth Man, the two-mouthed by-product of the fact that Zeus touched Pecorino Patience, calls.

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Yoton is a wiry man with small glasses and long stringy blond hair who loves peace and smiling. He considers himself a “sniper” by way of helping to direct the sun’s light onto people. It’s better to just let him go on believing that this is the case.

The man who considers the entire continental U.S. his route is large and lovable, especially considering his red cape and matching red baseball cap. Rodney prides himself on creating new and abstract flavors such as “corner” flavored ice cream. The grand masterpiece he continues to work on is the flavor “love for all mankind.” He can be seen driving on major highways as he blasts rock music, cavorting with truckers, and bringing joy to towns across America.

Known also as the “Ice Cream Messiah,” Cream Christ is a man made of ice cream. He has to stay in a special chamber to keep cool as he travels, and his appearance often frightens his customers. Cream Christ owns the chain of Cream Christ ice cream stores, offering the basic three flavors: vanilla, chocolate and strawberry. Once a rival of Rodney the Caped Ice Cream Man, the two have joined forces in their support for JC Superstar’s campaign to become Ruler of United Scandinavia.

The Greek god of gods (don’t tell him we didn’t capitalize) is trying to break into show business in Vegas. He still hangs out on Mt. Olympus and is generally not amused.

The New Age musician has been a friend for many years. He revealed to the hosts that he originally existed as a Greek statue, and when Zeus changed him into a man, he left one part marble…let’s just say Yanni will never need Viagra.

Conspiracy theorist extraordinaire, he originally purported that the moon is made of beef stew. He lives in suburban New York but has a camp in New Mexico for his three hundred “Rasmatarians.” He also has a fondness for wearing goggles.

Starman was a wrestler and champion for many years in Lipton’s wrestling circuit before being “abandoned” by him. His record of wins is impressive considering his suit is pink.

Slim is a health guru who wears a skin tight body suit with paintings of bones and organs on it to teach people about what is inside the human body. Some say the suit never comes off.

This flamboyant ringleader of POTG Radio’s detractors uses and abuses just about everyone and is smarter and thus more dangerous than most. He has both a love of leather overalls and political sway in certain parts of the world. His “food organization” is really a front for all kinds of sordid activities. He currently travels the world while inside the bowels of Swedish Mecha-Godzilla, controlling the giant robot while nonetheless living in luxurious conditions.