Planet of the Grapes

The name says it all…sleep well, ladies.

Boy Man is a 42 year old man who still has a toddler’s head and face. Thus, he never had to quit his first job, being a toddler model (only now, he can only be photographed from the neck up). He is rivals with “Brian,” a 4 year old boy genius.

Called R.Y.P. Buffalo Man for short, this caller’s original claim to fame is being a character on pre-loaded templates for “Adult Lite Brites.”

Mickey modeled on boxes of H-O Farina as a youth. Now in his teens, he is trying to avoid the bad influences of Gonzo and Responsible Yet Promiscuous Buffalo Man as well as take on his rival, the pompous Quaker Oats Man.

The Quaker Oats Man is known for his buckled shoes, arrogant demeanor, and hair made of oatmeal. He despises more processed hot cereals such as cream of wheat (a.k.a. farina) and grits.

A piece of a highway can now grace the callers’ list of POTG Radio. BQEesha is the voice for a section of New York’s Brooklyn-Queens Expressway. She’s worked on a lot and looking for some good loving.

New York’s own East River calls POTG Radio with his filthy mouth, loving to crack off-color jokes. He also details who has thrown what in him.

“Young David Hasselhoff” calls, claiming he is a version of the entertainer in the past. Then his mother calls to specify what he means. She has spent time in the lab of Dr. Bozo, a clown/doctor who calls to reveal the bigotry that clowns face.

Following his discussion of clown segregation, President Andrew Jackson begins detailing his open parties at the White House. It turns out that somehow David Hasselhoff’s mother used to attend and that Andrew, along with his friends Rumpelstiltskin and Gorilla Boy, had a bet to see who could sleep with her first. The winner’s face would be on the one million dollar treasury bill.

Teddy Roosevelt and his butler, Teddy Ruxpin, wanted to talk about conservation and birds. This prompted Bird Best, one of Birdman’s illegitimate sons, to call. He squabbles with Teddy and Teddy about birds and then speaks about his practice of giving eulogies for people he didn’t know.

Besides the topics listed in the above segments, you’ll also hear an interview with Teddy Roosevelt and his butler, Teddy Ruxpin. One of POTG Radio’s pathetic competitors, Newton Folds, tries to reveal President Roosevelt as a fraud.

Tiffany is a sweet girl who confides in POTG Radio that she has a unique disorder: she cannot see herself.

Always calling as a pair, the brothers tell POTG Radio what it was like to “act” in video games and now spend their time trying to avoid unsavory situations, like Luigi’s mix-up with a prostitute in Vegas.