Planet of the Grapes

Contrary to what the Afterbirth Fairy claims about her abilities, Mosquit O. Buttlow accuses her of owning a mosquito slave camp.

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This segment begins with Fozzy calling, revealing he has a multiple-personality disorder and also speaks as “Mole Man” and “Penelope.” He’s followed by the bitter Gonzo and Nanny’s Legs.

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Willow is the man behind the hosts. He is the POTG Radio’s producer, manager, and studio whiz, having designed and  now continuing to maintain the most advanced phone system in radio. He has a sweet tooth for alcohol and sometime leaves to drink on the job. He perpetually  tries to kick the habit with the help of his girlfriend, Withering Witherspoon, a midget Reese Witherspoon impersonator.

Yahdderman is sick, so Pelican Pecorino calls, claiming his pecorino beak has healing qualities. Pecorino Patience, a pagan god, calls, claiming he is responsible for the beak’s powers. Currently attached to him is Quailburglar, who wanted some of that power for himself and is also Pelican Pecorino’s father. Gimnael is called to attest to the healing powers of the beak.

Zeus is called to assess Pecorino Patience’s power as a pagan god. Then Kid Gicarus, who interned for Pecorino Patience, calls. Pecorino Patience is scared that if Quailburglar tries to mate with him, there will be catastrophic consequences. Earth Man, the two-mouthed by-product of the fact that Zeus touched Pecorino Patience, calls.

Besides the topics described in the above segments, you’ll also hear from JC Superstar and Mole Man as they continue their political campaign in Scandinavia, George Bush, Michael Jackson’s hat, Pontius Pilate, and POTG Radio’s old friend Bill Clinton.

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The hosts interview Grimace’s motorcycle gang-member brother, Gimnael, who was in Reno for a rally.

After Gimnael describes how flying Harlequins who live in the plains of Canada attack American motorcyclists, a Harlequin on his way to Reno calls.

Grimace calls to offer his brother sanctuary on his battleship, then Bjord Scarecrow calls to fight with Gimnael over a woman.

The health guru behind “Sweating to the Oldies” and old friend of POTG Radio calls to describe some of his new products.

You’ll also hear about POTG Radio’s bizarre missing microphone and an interview with its instructional manual, Willow’s brother, Willus, and Indian game show host Gilbert Gabooge.

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POTG radio’s oldest ally, Grimace, gives a rare interview and remains in the studio for the remainder of the episode.

’90s health guru, Susan Powter, calls to pick a bone with our special in-studio guest.

Louis Louise calls, explaining how he is a drag racer in more than one sense of the term. POTG Radio also hears from his disapproving mother.

McDonaldland henchman, Quailburglar, (he has changed his name) is confronted by the clown he tried to explode while skiing in the Alps.

You’ll also hear from Shirtman, clothing designer Don Kong (formerly Donkey Kong), and the actual personifications of the logos “Have a Nice Day” and “Shit Happens.”

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The hosts discuss a variety of topics, including gold dolllar coins and the ramifications of relationships with Sacajawea and her sister, as well as Bill Clinton’s old idea for “negative money.”

The hosts catch up with old friend Yanni. Then, the three contestants who will be competing to win a romantic getaway with him in the POTG Radio dating game, Grape Love, come into the studio. There’s Birdie from the McDonaldland crew, the ambiguous Rose Royce, and crown jewel thief CJ.

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The average American family has 2.3 children, according to the US Census. We get .3 on the phone to talk about his half-formed tragedy

.3′s mother, the Afterbirth Fairy, introduces herself and her job to POTG Radio. This evokes business and sexual interest from Bill Cosby.

Contrary to what the Afterbirth Fairy claims about her abilities, Mosquit O. Buttlow accuses her of owning a mosquito slave camp.

You’ll also hear first time interviews with Yoton O’Sunlove, a sniper who snipes people with sunlight, and the Goat God.

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