Planet of the Grapes

The show kicks off with a call from a tragic woman named Destiny, who is simultaneously a stripper and, you guessed it, the concept of Destiny. Then, of course, Pakistan calls, and later Respect, who claims to be the child of Pakistan and Destiny.

The giant Indian robot known as Gupta Kronog calls and is quickly followed by rival Godzilla. On a previous episode Godzilla befriended the Burger King, who now rides on his back. This prompts Swedish Mecha-Godzila to call as well, the robotic Godzilla who has Ronald inside of him in his control chamber.

POTG Radio follows up with the Mario Bros. from the last episode’s conversation, when it became clear that their lives were falling apart. The “Grime Reaper” and his sidekick, a punk rocker called Immature call to discuss how they are forcing Luigi to be the celebrity partner at a new bar they are opening in Vegas. Bowser of the Mario Bros games calls to try and save Luigi.

This episode also includes a discussion of how radio producer Willow used the hosts’ money to invest in bars, including one owned by a stingray man, and also more from Luigi’s captivity in Vegas.

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Wherever Gimnael is, his right hand-man in his motorcycle gang, Piglet, is not too far away. They are exiled in Canada since Piglet is on the run from the law. Gimnael is afraid that the previous segment’s discussion of American-Canadian hostilities will incite violence between his gang and their sworn enemies, the harlequins who live in the Canadian plains. Geraldo calls to try to be Piglet’s lawyer, and General Gyro calls to make Piglet and Gimael an offer to join his army.

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General Gyro stays on the phone to welcome video game stars Mario and Luigi, still in Vegas after Luigi’s legal troubles there. The Brothers’ old cohort, Toad, now rich from Saudi oil, calls to offer them jobs in his new casino, and the transgender Louis Louise calls to offer his/her services for giving feedback on Mario’s proposed return to the stage-as a stripper.

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Continuing the discussion with the Mario Brothers, Kato Kaelin, O.J. Simpson’s infamous former house sitter, calls. He reveals that the Mario Brothers in fact went to Beverly Hills high school after moving from NY to LA in their teens as they were attempting to break into the entertainment industry. Luigi and Kaelin had a rap group for about five minutes while in high school. Ex-video game star Toad is still on the phone, trying to get this motley crew to work for him.

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“Young David Hasselhoff,” the cloned version of, well, David Hasselhoff in his youth, comes up against the Canadian version of himself. As discussed in a previous episode (“President’s Day Blow Out,” 2007), there are many Hasselhoff clones wandering about. Gimnael, Grimace’s brother and leader of a motorcycle gang, invites himself onto the show in his typical manner.

Wherever Gimnael is, his right hand-man in his motorcycle gang, Piglet, is not too far away. They are exiled in Canada since Piglet is on the run from the law. Gimnael is afraid that the previous segment’s discussion of American-Canadian hostilities will incite violence between his gang and their sworn enemies, the harlequins who live in the Canadian plains. Geraldo calls to try to be Piglet’s lawyer, and General Gyro calls to make Piglet and Gimael an offer to join his army.

General Gyro stays on the phone to welcome video game stars Mario and Luigi, still in Vegas after Luigi’s legal troubles there. The Brothers’ old cohort, Toad, now rich from Saudi oil, calls to offer them jobs in his new casino, and the transgender Louis Louise calls to offer his/her services for giving feedback on Mario’s proposed return to the stage–as a stripper.

Continuing the discussion with the Mario Brothers, Kato Kaelin, O.J. Simpson’s infamous former house sitter, calls. He reveals that the Mario Brothers in fact went to Beverly Hills high school after moving from NY to LA in their teens as they were attempting to break into the entertainment industry. Luigi and Kaelin had a rap group for about five minutes while in high school. Ex-video game star Toad is still on the phone, trying to get this motley crew to work for him.

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Richard Simmons’ Shorts and the Laces (on the shorts) call from the Philippines. Part of the Stain (that used to be on the shorts) also calls, in the process revealing how they came to be: they are the result of a splash from a “mayonnaise lobotomy” that Richard Simmons had administered in the past. Then the man himself calls to start explaining what that means…

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While the hosts are talking to Richard Simmons, his Shorts, Laces on the shorts, and the Stain, fast food mogul Teriyaki Boy calls. Then a Wizard (walrus/lizard) calls, as does Michael Jordan, Mr. Wizard (an actual wizard), and pro wrestler Gorilla Gross.

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An old character, LSD, wafts into the airwaves and, as usual, changes everyone into their alternate personalities. First, the hosts become strippers, and then, Michael Jordan becomes Barbara Streisand, who falls in love with Gorilla Gross, who now sees himself in a new light and instantly softens to become “Gorilla Grace.” Elton John calls, and Grimace calls to marry Michael/Barbara and Gorilla Grace.

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Yotesh is the herder who guards the Essence of Italy, currently residing in a mountain in Albania. The Goat God calls to keep Yotesh in check, and then the Essence of Italy gets on the phone to speak for himself.

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Richard Simmons’ Shorts and the Laces (on the shorts) call from the Philippines. Part of the Stain (that used to be on the shorts) also calls, in the process revealing how they came to be: they are the result of a splash from a “mayonnaise lobotomy” that Richard Simmons had administered in the past. Then the man himself calls to start explaining what that means…

While the hosts are talking to Richard Simmons, his Shorts, Laces on the shorts, and the Stain, fast food mogul Teriyaki Boy calls. Then a Wizard (walrus/lizard) calls, as does Michael Jordan, Mr. Wizard (an actual wizard), and pro wrestler Gorilla Gross.

An old character, LSD, wafts into the airwaves and, as usual, changes everyone into their alternate personalities. First, the hosts become strippers, and then, Michael Jordan becomes Barbara Streisand, who falls in love with Gorilla Gross, who now sees himself in a new light and instantly softens to become “Gorilla Grace.” Elton John calls, and Grimace calls to marry Michael/Barbara and Gorilla Grace.

Yotesh is the herder who guards the Essence of Italy, currently residing in a mountain in Albania. The Goat God calls to keep Yotesh in check, and then the Essence of Italy gets on the phone to speak for himself.

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.