Papaya Juice Enemas & Christmas Tree Enzymes
Author: admin In: Full Episodes, POTG RadioBill Cosby calls to proclaim how he feels twenty years younger after just having experienced a papaya juice enema. Withering Witherspoon, a mini Reese Witherspoon impersonator, calls about her boyfriend, POTG Radio producer, Willow. She wants him to become vegan, but is flipping out because she too did the papaya enema as well and all of her inhibitions have now gone out the window.
Following the last segment with Willow’s girlfriend going off the deep end, the hosts get three lovely ladies on the phone to compete for a date with him in a Grape Love segment. The contestants are: Margaret Thatcher, Sarah Palin, and Reese Witherspoon, whose bloodstream is taken over at times by the Christmas Tree Enzyme.
Also on the show, Thomas Jefferson laments his obscurity on currency and proposes the two-dollar bill be circulated to help stimulate the economy. Frank Lloyd Wright and Alexander the Great call to explain the papaya juice enema craze.
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
"Velvet Cocoa Face"
- 1 Comment
- Tags: Rufus Wainright
The continuation of the previous Grape Love segment, where Margaret Thatcher, Sarah Palin, and Reese Witherspoon (sometimes taken over by Christmas Tree Enzyme) are competing for a date with Willow.
from the forthcoming episode “Papaya Juice Enemas & Christmas Tree Enzymes” (54:26-69:10)
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
81st Street & Central Park West
The American Museum of Natural History (cue Intelligent Design joke) knows how to wow. It greets its front-door visitors with a gigantic Tyrannosaurus Rex skeleton (or as creationists call it, “Untitled Bone Sculpture”). The visitors then embark on a journey of plexi-glass and fossils, taking them back through time and space. It’s one of the few places where you can get your picture taken next to a woolly mammoth, there and at Sean Connery’s house.
The main entrance’s closest bathroom, however, will send needy visitors running away screaming. The first step inside takes you down a long narrow hall and into a room with an ill-conceived number of walls. The large mirror is not in front of the sink, but off to the right. Any new users will easily get in the way of those already grooming, perhaps sparking some competition. Maybe the bathrooms are being video monitored and used as research for a future exhibit on “Early 21st Century Restroom Etiquette in Humans” (we’d better be invited to the fundraiser party). The walls sport an off-white, slightly greyish-blue hue found only in abandoned beach houses. One of the sinks were broken on our visit, and the towel dispenser was empty. An upstairs bathroom provides a better option with clean white tiles, brushed steel stall, and a handicap “oner” with its own sink and soap dispenser; it was overall better stocked and in better shape. Logic stands to argue that the better bathroom should be closer to the entrance and not something a customer should have to work for. Perhaps natural selection will fix this problem in time.
Rating: 5.5
"Beaked Recipe Face"
Following the last segment with Willow’s girlfriend going off the deep end, the hosts get three lovely ladies on the phone to compete for a date with him in a Grape Love segment. The contestants are: Margaret Thatcher, Sarah Palin, and Reese Witherspoon, whose bloodstream is taken over at times by the Christmas Tree Enzyme.
from the forthcoming episode “Papaya Juice Enemas & Christmas Tree Enzymes” (34:13-54:24)
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
Bill Cosby calls to proclaim how he feels twenty years younger after just having experienced a papaya juice enema. Withering Witherspoon, a mini Reese Witherspoon impersonator, calls about her boyfriend, POTG Radio producer, Willow. She wants him to become vegan, but is flipping out because she too did the papaya enema as well and all of her inhibitions have now gone out the window.
from the forthcoming episode “Papaya Juice Enemas & Christmas Tree Enzymes” (11:30 – 21:48)
Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.
"Breaded Liability Face"
- 0 Comments
- Tags: Stephen King
- 0 Comments
- Tags: Bohemian Rhapsody, chickens, Heidi Klum, Queen, space ship
1) It’s time to disembark on a dis-im-bowelulation. This is the technical term for what Freddy Krueger does with his clawed hand to some overly sexual girl in the 37th installment of “A Nightmare on Madison Avenue”-and that’s exactly what it was, for no one knew how to market it. You HAVE to start grassroots movements in church basements, nail salons, and “death sites of famous polar bears.”
P A N D A B E A R S = T O O O B V I O U S
2) My pet calculator recently chided me, calling my early twenties my “Emotional Dark Ages.” Had electricity been discovered in 1132 C.E. (A.D. is soooo 1956) we would have been flying to Jupiter mentally by now. Had I discovered the part of my brain that would have connected to my clitoris had I continued developing as a female (note to frat boys: every fetus starts out as a female, but then Larry Flynt’s ghost intervenes), I would have been married by now. Say. La. V.
3) Saying “cheese” when you get your picture taken is like saying “weight” when you flip a light switch. The former will not change the braces and over-sized t-shirts you had when you were 11, the latter will not stop a blood-hungry Freddy Krueger, currently hiding in your closet (let’s hope he’s distracted by all the bacteria porn you hide in there- “Pre-Microscoped Images For Your Pleasure!”).
4) Critics agree: Freddy Krueger can’t be a theme, “he wouldn’t make it this obvious.”
Critics aghast: There weren’t enough clean towels at last month’s Critic’s Konvention.
Critics are assholes: See the review of the STUN List Coffee Table Book in Rolling Stone, May 12, 2012 (four stars–which by that point is one star less then the Cliff’s Notes for the Snakes on a Plane graphic novel).
5) “Where the chalk women at?”
The above is a take on the popular line from the Mel Brooks film, Blazing Saddles, “where the white women at?” Chalk is white…get it?
I had a crush on Sade when I was 5. (M/56/NYC/FAVORITE WORD: MOCCASINS) Ladies: you must have NO sense of humor…I hate completition.
6) I hear the lunch room at Conde Nast publishing (they do Cosmo and stuff) is, like, brutal…in terms of finding people who can locate Peru on a map.
7) Clown: I liked it better when you guys weren’t as socially critical.
Me: Ok…I get a lot of pre-cum, but only when I’m with a partner (lawyers suck). Is that better?
(Clown takes off mask to reveal a clock where his face should be): 4:37
Come on) My face isn’t perfect, but neither is Brad Pitt’s copy of The Bible/La Biblia/Los Angeles.
9) Somehow, in the process of illegally but successfully editing a Wikipedia entry about himself, Richard Simmons found the secret to immortality. Note: the last sentence would have been less effective using Albert Einstein, but more effective using real imagination and not relying on a mere mention of Richard Simmons to “get us through this thin(g).” <———–(guess you’re not “with a partner” because you’re now clearly jerking off)
If there were a kissing technique called “throating,” what would it entail?
10) Biblically-Themed Porn
11) Yikes…is not in the dictionary. But neither is Freddie Mercury’s key lime pie recipe (a jealous Krueger forces himself to fall off of his tricycle, trying to get my attention… I always knew I’d hate fatherhood).
12) “Probably the worst STUN of his post-prison career. Look at the Paris Hilton article below and never really delve too deeply into politics”-The NY Post
“Where he fails in execution, he fails further in superfluous mentions of Frederick Krueger.” -The New Yorker
“Where the brown, yellow and tan women at?”- a New Yorker
Ugh. Is it over?
William “The pleather suits are under the leather boots” Wishful
- 0 Comments
- Tags: Blazing Saddles, Brad Pitt, Clowns, Conde Nast, Cosmo, critics, Freddie Mercury, Freddy Krueger, La Biblia, Larry Flynt, Los Angeles, Madison Avenue, Mel Brooks, moccasins, NY Post, panda bears, Paris Hilton, Peru, polar bears, Richard Simmons, Rolling Stone, Sade, Snakes on a Plane, The Bible, The New Yorker, wikipedia
Loading...
