Planet of the Grapes » Mario

Animals Are There For A Reason

Brad — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 17:44:27 +0000

Yahdderman celebrates scoring his chariot’s license and considers Cream Christ as a candidate to pull him around. Cream Christ chimes in immediately, but his first gripe is over a competing ice cream and pizza establishment. Turns out the offending Pizza Hovel is owned by Mario’s cousin, who turns this grudge into an all-out verbal melee.

Grimace reveals to the hosts the existence of an island where Grimace’s kin can frolic and go about their daily lives is relative peace… that is until Boy Man and Macho Man Randy Savage come knocking at their door. They claim that Grimace Island is prejudiced against them by denying citizenship.

Boy Man explains the secret ulterior motives to being a part of Grimaceland, which seems to include a hybrid army of Grimacelike toddlers. Ryan Seacrest decides this would make a great reality show, and Slim Goodbody and Richard Simmons offer opposing advice for Boy Man.

Slim Goodbody describes his new fetish for traveling the world’s most dangerous roads, which also doubles as a form of cheap, mentally unstable therapy.

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Cream Cave and Pizza Hovel

admin — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 04:15:08 +0000

From the upcoming full episode “Animals Are There For A Reason”

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South in Your Mouth

admin — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 12:39:51 +0000

Mario starts by complaining how his brother Luigi isn’t always sharp, citing an old incident where he fell for a cop disguised as a prostitute. Renowned Swiss therapist Dr. Flappenhauer calls with advice, but can’t get far as he is always interrupted by his boots, which respectively house the spirits of Keith Richards and Michael Bolton. Pee Wee Herman’s Talking Couch is not making matters any easier for Dr. Flappehauer.

Pee Wee Herman’s Couch begins by proclaiming that he has a “big old mouth” and that Luigi has fed him burgers in the past. The undigested burgers have now formed into a being named Ribbim, who apparently is going into business with Spongebob Squarepants. They plan to start a fast food chain that serves rancid burgers, with Al Gore as an investor. Dr. Flappenhauer and his boot possessed by the spirit of Michael Bolton, still on the line from the previous segment, weigh in.

Bill Clinton calls to try and balance his old partner Al Gore, who is on the phone and trying to connect rancid burgers to the sun burning “the weak” to death in 2012. Al admits he has Cookie Monster on a torture wheel in his basement, prompting Gonzo to call and try to help his fellow Muppet.

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Rancid Burgers and 2012 – Part 1

admin — Sun, 04 Apr 2010 22:00:11 +0000

Pee Wee Herman’s Couch begins by proclaiming that he has a “big old mouth” and that Luigi has fed him burgers in the past. The undigested burgers have now formed into a being named Rancid Burger Monster (or Ribbim for short), who apparently is going into business with Spongebob Squarepants. They plan to start a fast food chain that serves rancid burgers, with Al Gore as an investor. Dr. Flappenhauer and his boot possessed by the spirit of Michael Bolton, still on the line from the previous segment, weigh in.

From the forthcoming episode “South in Your Mouth” (36:04 – 49:17)

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The Therapist’s New Boots

admin — Sun, 28 Mar 2010 01:30:16 +0000

From the forthcoming Full Episode “South in Your Mouth” (20:35-36:01)

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We’re Sorry Luigi, but the Police are in Another Castle

admin — Wed, 07 May 2008 03:52:08 +0000

From Episode “What Starts in Kashmir Stays in Kashmir”(40:02 – 60:16)

POTG Radio follows up with the Mario Bros. from the last episode’s conversation, when it became clear that their lives were falling apart. The “Grime Reaper” and his sidekick, a punk rocker called Immature call to discuss how they are forcing Luigi to be the celebrity partner at a new bar they are opening in Vegas. Bowser of the Mario Bros games calls to try and save Luigi.

The Mario Bros. Do Vegas

admin — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 22:59:09 +0000

From Episode “Breaking the Law”(30:42 – 50:30)

General Gyro stays on the phone to welcome video game stars Mario and Luigi, still in Vegas after Luigi’s legal troubles there. The Brothers’ old cohort, Toad, now rich from Saudi oil, calls to offer them jobs in his new casino, and the transgender Louis Louise calls to offer his/her services for giving feedback on Mario’s proposed return to the stage-as a stripper.

Luigi and Kato Kaelin Used to be Tight

admin — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 22:57:39 +0000

From Episode “Breaking the Law”(50:40 – 59:40)

Continuing the discussion with the Mario Brothers, Kato Kaelin, O.J. Simpson’s infamous former house sitter, calls. He reveals that the Mario Brothers in fact went to Beverly Hills high school after moving from NY to LA in their teens as they were attempting to break into the entertainment industry. Luigi and Kaelin had a rap group for about five minutes while in high school. Ex-video game star Toad is still on the phone, trying to get this motley crew to work for him.

Breaking the Law

admin — Tue, 22 Apr 2008 13:51:32 +0000

“Young David Hasselhoff,” the cloned version of, well, David Hasselhoff in his youth, comes up against the Canadian version of himself. As discussed in a previous episode (“President’s Day Blow Out,” 2007), there are many Hasselhoff clones wandering about. Gimnael, Grimace’s brother and leader of a motorcycle gang, invites himself onto the show in his typical manner.

Wherever Gimnael is, his right hand-man in his motorcycle gang, Piglet, is not too far away. They are exiled in Canada since Piglet is on the run from the law. Gimnael is afraid that the previous segment’s discussion of American-Canadian hostilities will incite violence between his gang and their sworn enemies, the harlequins who live in the Canadian plains. Geraldo calls to try to be Piglet’s lawyer, and General Gyro calls to make Piglet and Gimael an offer to join his army.

Coke Rises in the East

admin — Wed, 07 Nov 2007 02:58:03 +0000

T.T, the official Thanksgiving turkey of 2007, calls. It turns out he’s getting his kicks in before getting eaten and is in bed with a celebrity who’s a favorite of the tabloids. The Harlem River calls to combat the fact that the East River was on last episode and is friends with T.T.

The Harlem River’s impersonations of other famous POTG Radio callers provokes the one and only Ronald to call. This in turn gets the Burger King to call for he first time ever. It turns out he’s in Australia and is friends with Godzilla, who is originally Australian. Pretty soon it’s an almost all-Australian panel as a representative from the Australian Union of Falcons calls, along with Nunchuck the kangaroo. Godzilla becomes bloodthirsty for Ronald.

The ice cream mogul made out of ice cream, Cream Christ, calls. He apparently has discovered a certain substance, and has procured Luigi of Mario Bros. fame to help change his image. Rodney the Caped Ice Cream Man and JC Superstar call to try to intervene with Cream Christ’s new hobby. They all work together on JC’s bid to win the election for “Ruler of United Scandinavia.” Then we hear from Luigi’s brother, Mario, Luigi’s blow-up doll, and the woman the blow-up doll was modeled after.