Planet of the Grapes

71st Street and Broadway
Stepping into this bathroom reminds us of stepping into Van Gogh’s mind, at least while he was painting landscapes during the day. No, this is not an absinthe hallucination, but rather a very abstract and dare we say clever way of saying that yellow is a predominant color in this bathroom as [...]

811 7th Ave at 53rd Street
The Sheraton is no Waldorf, but it’s also no Motel 6. Throughout the country it’s relied on as a solid chain. In New York City, perhaps aware of its place among the giants, The Sheraton puts its best foot forward, like the awkward sophomore who finally got invited to a [...]

503 Broadway
Located past the fitting room like our previous Banana Republic review, the sibling company “Old Navy” doesn’t care if you sneak in by yourself. Gap, Inc., designed Old Navy like the ratty younger brother who perpetually lives in the mental state of freshman year at college. That way, if Banana’s upscale image turns [...]

1000 Third Avenue & 59th Street
“Let’s go to Bloomy’s” has been said on the Upper East Side of Manhattan more than “let’s help someone less fortunate than us” by a ratio of 250:1. It’s an obvious destination when both looking for hats to wear to the U.S. Open or when having to take care of [...]

Parts unknown
Let us begin with a preface: this is a private residential restroom (thus, exclusively referred to as a bathroom), and is evaluated against a different set of criteria. Keep in mind a rating of 10 would include things like showers you could walk around in and that provide multiple shower heads and steamers, a [...]

55th Street and 2nd Avenue
The Manhattan Arts and Antiques Center, much like it sounds, consists of numerous showrooms where vendors sell things to the wealthy, such as brass elephant statues, Ming Dynasty door mats, and perhaps even Chaucer’s thigh bracelets. It is a center in that many [...]

between West 62nd and 65th Streets and Columbus and Amsterdam Avenues
Across the street from the Upper West Side location of the entry above sits ”the real deal,” nest of the culture vultures, Lincoln Center. Since the purpose of our investigations has always been to serve the interests of ”quick relief” while spending the day as [...]