Planet of the Grapes

1) “Mocha Suchness is reality…” this is what a caterpillar screamed (human whisper equivalent) at me as I fell into a trance…and all I could think was….”Starbucks takes itself wayyy too seriously.” 2) If time is of the essence, but time doesn’t exist, are fart jokes still funny after college? 3) Maybe one day, we [...]

1) Just as I was getting ready to perch upon my stove and inseminate a crown roast, the phone rang. It was your mother. This is not a therapy session. 2) I need to feel bad for myself. That’s what I’m going as for Saint Patrick’s Day. Me Feeling Bad For Myself. Introducing me to [...]